The things they don't tell you...

FIRST COLLEGIATE BLOG POST!!! Look at me college girl blogging. Now it's the same old boring blog but from a college student's perspective! Okay so I think I have a really apropos simile so in the spirit of being ridiculously poetic... Time is like honey. It's moving so fast, but so slow! I've only been here 2 weeks and 2 days but it oddly feels like 2 months while also feeling like I just got here. It's very odd. I'm still getting settled...ughhh. See you expect it to go like this... you get out of your mom's car. You immediately catch a frisbee tossed by some gorgeous golden haired boy. The kids who perfectly timed a frisbee toss so you'd accidentally catch it become your best friends. You have all the same interest and then everyone gathers round and sings and dances, cue credits. Well no, that's not how it works. Making friends is HARD. It's better now I've met some really nice people and I'm starting to find my niche, but there's no crazy random happenstance that will magically get you acclimated to college. Rome wasn't built in a day and apparently neither is my social life. But like I said I think I have a few keepers now. On the sunnier side of the quad (see what I did there!), my classes are ahmazing! My mandatory science class isn't awful. C'mon it's geology! Literally we went on a field trip to look at rocks for our first lab. We just hiked around saying, "That's a nice boulder!" And our professor just tells really corny geology jokes. Then my FYS or first year seminar is a theatre class. It's not too bad. I'm friends with a lot of people from that class. It's a more than decent amount of work outside of class but it's really not that bad. And it's a nice way to have opportunities to get involved in the college theatre seen. My history class is AWESOME. It was supposed to be 1450 to present but they revised it to 1750 to present. YEAH!!! And instead of a final I just have a paper. We have to pick a specific city and then focus a paper around that. I need to start thinking about that.  I'm in love with  my FAMS class is everything I dreamed it would be and more <3. We talk about music, and photography, and movies which is like my entire life pretty much. And we watch really good movies and I love it. YAY! And twice a week I have concert choir. The director is really nice and fun. I'm singing alto though... I haven't sung alto in about two years! I'm starting to get busier with clubs and stuff. I'm not exactly sure what clubs I'm in officially . The main ones I'm in right now I guess are Art Society, Theatre Underground, Marquis Players, Dance Co., photography club... you know weird artsy kid things. Then there's the little everyday things. Like feeling my legs are never completely shaved because I hate the college showers. Or not being able to do two loads of laundry since 2/5 washing machines have vomit covered sheets in them. Late night Wawa adventures... you know college things! Now that I'm spending less time being sad and more time being awesome instead hopefully I can blog more so I don't forget things. High School went by way too quickly so I don't want to forget to chronicle anything!

In front of Old Pardee

Pretty campus requirement...check! 

The college essentials. CARPE DIEM is my mantra for the year since that's what Papa Nat told me to do

It's a bumble bee!!!

My favorite thing is to go where I've never been

The title is my current mantra quote! It's from one of my favorite photographers Diane Arbus. For some reason it always makes me feel better when I'm starting something new. And I need all the inspiration I can get because tomorrow is my first day of college life! Currently my life is in boxes! I've been running around all day trying to say my good byes and box everything up. I actually have a ridiculous amount of stuff! I don't think I've ever felt this nervous or excited in my entire life. I guess I'm mostly nervous about making friends. I feel like such a kindergartner! Except worse because I'm actually living somewhere new! I was reading the syllabus for my FYS (which FYI is a First Year Seminar) which got me simultaneously pumped and intimidated. On the bright side it's a theatre class so it kinda forces my foot in the door. But there was all this talk of viewing classes, and production hours, and my professor expects us to read the Times daily! My roomie is already moved in for a preorientation program. So hopefully that will make move in easier... I don't really have much else to report. It's really late and I still need to shower so I can't really summer recap...
Oh wait I had a day that was too good not to blog about. I went into NYC got half price second row tickets for Peter and the Starcatcher, got my playbill signed by every cast member and a picture with Adam Chanler Berat (one of my broadway crushes), and free tickets to the MOMA. It was such a lucky good day! Also I'm 18 now! Woohoo adulthood! I had a nice day of hanging out with friends and family. Definitely one of my best birthdays ever!
There are so many things I meant to do this Summer but never got a chance to do. But everyone was always so busy and some things just never coordinated! Oh well I'm leaving tomorrow with no regrets ready for some brighter horizons.
Easton or Bust!

Oh but I need to blog more at school because how else will Sonya Han know what's going on in my life?!?! (Sonya Han always needs to know what's going on in my life)

me and CP at my birthday party that was much earlier than my birthday

12 for 12 :)

I'm gonna miss coffee runs with my New Prov friends

Train ride home from seeing Into the Woods. I'm going to miss this boy so much!

Me, Adam Chanler Berat (aka PETER PAN!), and Caitlin

Perfect for brewing my favorite Earl Grey 

Somethings can't be explained they can only be experienced

So much to summarize! I'm officially now a high school graduate! How crazy is that?!?! I walked to get my diploma with Dave Barletta the dream boat football star. (Now that we're no longer classmates I can say that right?) I looked very short next to him because he's 6'5'' and well I'm not... Then we were all whisked off to project graduation. A mythical land of air brush tattoos, massages, and sports that I'm not coordinated enough to play. Sunday after graduation, the fam came to celebrate. It was nice seeing everyone and a little congratulatory money is sitting waiting to go to the bank. Summer started off slow, but is starting to pick up. I'm working two jobs (Surprising since I'm usually so lazy). In the mornings I babysit and drive the girl to the pool. I really don't like waking up early, but she's a sweet little almost 5th grader and it's super easy money. And then I'm doing reception work at a pediatrician's office. I mostly just file charts alphabetically. It's painfully boring. But at least this job I can work hours during college breaks when I know I'll need money. Speaking of college! I can almost taste the instant ramen! I received my tentative schedule! Most importantly I got into FAMS 101. I literally cheered out loud when I saw that I'm starting my career as a young film maker! Then I have a history class. Geology 101 for my lab requirement. I hope that class isn't that bad. Also I have my first year seminar which is actually a theatre class. This one was my 3rd choice, but I'm sure it will be fine! Today I got my housing assignment. My dorm is close to the main quad and has air conditioning. And my roommate is also from New Jersey and seems fairly normal so far! Ahhhh August come faster! I've actually been doing a pretty good job of staying active this Summer! Lots of gym trips for the elliptical and I'm doing yoga twice a week with Caitlin. Tuesday started Summer dance classes. Ballet was really hard because the class was a lot more intense than what I was used to (there were jumps I had never heard of! Really a scion?). But, I pushed through and just didn't care if they judged me! I made up for my less than performance worthy ballet class by having a good jazz class. I <3 Jazz!

Well I solved my existential life crisis. I decided it's all in my head. Now, most people would view this as a bad thing but you've probably figured out, I'm not most people! So I'm no longer all caught up in "trying to find my place" and "discovering who I am". I'm a teenager the whole identity thing is still being formed. It's ridiculous to stress over something like that. Having deep philosophical debates with yourself doesn't make you deep it just gives you a headache! However, I do feel very distanced from my peers. I feel awkward and like I don't fit in. I feel like people don't really like me. Or at least they don't like me as much as others. Just that second rate inadequate feeling. Maybe it's just having been in New Prov for too long. Maybe it's knowing these people too well picking up on their subtleties and social cues. Maybe it's that they've known me too long. Having seen me in all my peaks and valleys having grown bored with me. It could be them; not being interesting or bright enough for me. Is it wrong to say that? There are just an abundance of uninspiring people I am forced to come in contact with. I know I'm not helping my case towards being a nice person. Or is it me? Am I the one who is just too strange? Is it that I am a fake, a psuedointellectual with unreasonable standards for the perfectly acceptable people around me? I don't know. It sucks feeling like a stranger surrounded by those you're supposed to call your posse, your clique, your best friends. I live in the moment and I think few do. I think many of us are just so ready to leave it is hard to continue hanging out with this collection of people who are not yet part of our past and certainly not a part of our futures. Again, too harsh?

banana s'more YUM

Hunter: my oldest, faithfulest, bestest friend

Lola all decked out for graduation

My cap! My favorite thing is to go where I've never been

Me and my gurlies post tubing

New obsession! Summer goal

I just really like this picture! okay?

A little fall of rain...

CRAAAZY TIMES! I have a week and a half left of High School left? When did that happen? Since when have I been considered fit to graduate? I've had my last voice recital, my last choir concert, my last memorial day parade (maybe I'm actually done with guard now), first and last dance recital. Special senior things like awards nights and PROM! Prom was lovely by the way. James was such a dream date. We had an amazing time together; I love him so much! My feet killed from my heels but hey I did what I had to do! The next day I had my dance recital (my first since I was 5!) I was really proud of myself for finally taking a chance and signing up for classes. It was something I wanted to do for a long time and it felt good to finally live the dream. And c'mon I got to wear legwarmers and that's what counts. Then there was a ton of post prom drama... I felt absolutely miserable. What's supposed to be one of the happiest times in my life I spent crying...typical me. ...So I'm kind of in a 30 Rock obsession phase. I found it on netflix and I just watch episode after episode. Yes, I have a problem. Wednesday I went to the ballet in the city with James. We saw Midsummer's nights dream. It was magical. I thought I'd have more to post but everything's been such a blur. Things  really have gone by way too fast. Today I went shopping with my mom but now we've already started buying stuff for college. Am I actually ready to move out of New Providence? Only time will tell.

Shashin!!!

I'm bored so randommm picture time!

Musings from purgatory

...okay so I'm not really in purgatory just math class! Math class is pretty similar though. I'm almost one month away from graduation which is ridiculous! I had two voice recitals last week they went well. I'm done with my AP tests which means I'm chilling heavy. This weekend is relay for life and it'll be fun spending extra time with all my buddies while fighting cancer! Dance recital and prom and into the woods are around the corner oh those children will be the death of me it's a good thing they're cute! Also over the summer James and I are going to see into the woods with Amy Adams as the baker's wife I'm super excited!!! James and I are singing a song from sweet charity too but my book is missing. In fact a lot of my stuff is missing hopefully I find that stuff soon! Bahhhhhhh I'm such a dreamer I'm just so ready to leave and start an adventure! I've been here and with these people for way too long and I just need to get out and follow my dreams! Don't get me wrong there's a lot I'll miss about good old new prov (nice place nice people new providence) but I need a change of pace. Right now I'm listening to Of Monsters and Men I love them! Well this killed most of math class and now I have physiology...

She lives her life like a movie

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED! The biggest news of course is that I got into the college of my dreams! (Literally since I had two dreams about Lafayette!) That's right I'm going to be a Leopard :). So it turns out everything worked out after all! I got into a top-notch school with a name my dad can be proud of. I am so excited for my college future of making friends, watching and creating beautiful films, and potentially an a capella choir! I also flew halfway around the world and back! Despite two 14ish hour plane rides the Japan trip was by far one of the best experiences of my life! It's such a beautiful place; there's mountains, cherry blossoms, and shinto gates everywhere! The people are incredibly friendly despite the fact that I butcher their language at every opportunity. We started the trip in Tokyo. Tokyo was nice. Personally, I wasn't crazy about the big city it was a little too busy for me. Kyoto was much more my style very traditional and pretty. We went out to a shrine in kamekura (hopefully spelled that right) where we climbed up to this shrine on a hill and we could see the Pacific Ocean. It was incredibly beautiful. Also we visited Ueno park which is gorgeous this time of year with all the cherry blossoms in bloom. The trip out to Hiroshima was very moving. I cried in the museum, so sad. Then we ventured to our host stay in Fukui. My host student was once again polite but generally quite. His sister though was a total sweetheart! She drove us around and really took care of us. And our host mom made me feel like Courtney and I were the most exciting thing to happen to their house. She fed us so well! Our last day in Japan was spent in Kyoto again. We went on this amazing night hike, so cool! The food there was amazing. I won't be able to eat sushi here for a long time! Also there was ice cream everywhere! I grew quite fond of the black sesame or goma ice cream. In Kyoto Mitchell sensei took all the seniors out for yaki niku. We paid a flat fee and then ate as much meat as we could in 90 minutes. So delicious, but also kind of gross... I really enjoyed bonding with Mr. Mitchell on the trip. He put in a lot of effort to make the trip the best it could be for us. Good ol' Lighting Mike. But by the end of the trip I was pretty ready to return to normalcy. My sleep schedule is still a mess since I got into this vicious nap cycle. Not all is perfect though (C'mon this IS my life). One of my closest friendships is pretty much a mess. Now it wasn't my fault, but it still hurts. We're not even talking right now. I don't know if that's good or not..It still hurts to think about the way things were so I know I need some time to heal. But on the other hand I miss him dearly and would love even just a text message. I was quite a mess after the big fall out. Sonya had to push me around Target in a shopping cart to try to make me feel better. It just hurts that after all this time it doesn't matter that I know his favorite color, or what shows he likes, or how he likes his fucking bagels. He made his choices... wow, things just got intense... moving on. My senioritis is in full swing! (Pretty obvious considering I'm blogging right now...) I am so behind on smart fm! Half my classes are a joke. I have to do a "legacy" project for humanities and I'm still figuring that out. I nap sooo much. All I want is to watch good movies and tv. Well 2 months to graduation!!! ahhhhh almost out! Senioritis is a serious issue, don't let it get to you!