Unfinished Business

I know considering the lack of blogging this is almost a miracle. If you take this as an indicator of my blogging pace for the rest of the semester you will be sorely disappointed. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. Just kidding...sort of.
Just people, man! I'm done with a lot of them. Yesterday I made a list of people I like and a "shit list" when I sat down to do my Statistics studying. Unfortunately the "shit list" is pretty full including names of some people I'm typically very close with. Then Anonymous friend came over and commented on the lists. Anonymous friend is a true leader, a keen listener, and generally more important to me than the bald eagle is to America. Seriously though I never tried to poison her with DDT... and she can talk.  Yeah, so that happened. It was a pretty good list there were foil characters and everything. Some of the parallels made more sense than others... then Anonymous friend wrote some snarky comments on someone who is both on "the shit list" and the people I like list. He really should not be on the people I like list...sigh...but he is. Seriously I need to move the hell on. By the way in case you were wondering the key to getting over a guy is not more guys. Yep, the vague overview is that we were a thing then we weren't then we were together again and now he's ignoring me. And I don't really know what I would want or even how I really feel about him I just hate being ignored and wish we could at least be friends. So... ummm Happy Valentine's Day everyone? Yeah because I need an annual reminder that my worth is determined by how men feel about me... many thanks to the Patriarchy. I also don't like this whole "having a crush thing" I never really dealt with it in high school. Oh, that asexual, incestual bubble that was NPHS. Yeah now I'm pathetically wishing some asshole would text me. Spoiler alert: It's not gonna happen. Ah, well it sucks now eventually I'll move on, my prince will come or something like this. And I do have a Valentine her name is Kathryn and I made her a card with glitter on it and everything. Sometimes good friends are more important any way. Yes, yes. Yeah, I actually don't have that much work this week. I mean I read for Lit, some basic sets for stats, photography is well photography, and American Studies could be anything. Still gives me plenty of time to screw up my personal life... MEOW. Okay seriously, I know I'm a strong independent woman and I don't need no man! Kay? Kay!

Paparazzi

I MISS THIS FACE

The Annual Santa Pic

Working hard or hardly working (on a play for theatre class)

CHRISTMAS and GINGERBREAD and LOVE

Best Christmas present ever? Pard Pride?

Spent NYE with those that matter most <3

My first day of classes look :)

The Roller Coaster

Hi! Remember me... my name is Mara I'm a spunky little 18 year old trying to hack it at one of America's best colleges while discovering her identity. No? Well, that's because again I have fallen behind on my blogging! Gosh, I'm going to have nothing to reference when I write my memoir?!
So quick overview recap! I officially survived first semester! Yes, barely. Yes, there were several breakdowns and I def didn't get straight A's and of course a few identity crisis (somethings never change). Overall a decent first semester though. I mean they say the transition is tough for everyone and I didn't drop out or transfer so I can't complain. And I met a lot of people who I simply adore now. Looking back at the last post I realized how little I actually talked about. I didn't say anything about Laf/Lehigh! We lost :( but it was still a good time! My parents came out from the game and that was well...interesting. At the end of the semester, Dance Co. had a So You Think You Can Dance. I performed a Modern group number... we came in 2nd place! The next day was our choir concert which went quite well and was a nice send off before crunch time. Ughhh finals trust me, we don't need to recap any of that.
Next order of business: Winter Break. You know I never really understood the phrase, "Home for the Holidays" until I left. At first it was wonderful to have so much time with my friends and family but after a month of pure slothfulness (okay, and working at WatPeds) I was more than ready to return to college hill. But CHRISTMAS! I love Christmas. I love Christmas so much <3 It was nice getting back to all of our family traditions. I got mega cool stuff too :) i got leopard footie pajamas (pard pride!!!), a few books, and THE BABY! The baby is what I call my DSLR camera. Also I babysat a lot over break so I got myself a ukulele. I can play a bunch of easy songs which is pretty awesome. I also watched a ridiculous amount of Mad Men...so good. And a bunch of really good movies! And I went to Rockin' Joe's because I'm constantly there or Cosmic Cup. Coffee shop probs <3
 SPEAKING OF COSMIC... flash forward to Easton, PA my little dorm room across the street from Cosmic because that's where I am (I know, classy transition!) This marks classes week 3 but it feels like much longer! (Sidebar: Yes, I cried when I said goodbye to my dog...again). Let's see classes are good...now. I had to do an add/drop. I was taking Making Media, but there was all this drama with the Professor's grading policies and it just wasn't worth it. But now I'm in Digital Photography which makes me very, very happy :D and perfect way to get better acquainted with my baby xoxo. In contrast I'm taking Stats which sucks but you know curriculum requirements, quantitative reasoning, blah, blah, blah. I'm taking American Literature. I really, really like it. My professor is fabulous! He's ridiculously smart and does everything with such style. I'm also taking Intro to American Studies. I don't really know what to make of it yet, but so far so good. Oh yeah and Concert Choir let's go round 2. Other exciting things? I'm in a show! I'm Johnny/Jenny (gender changing hell yeah) in Curtains! That means I'm the stage manager for the show within the show. I get a couple lines and even a bit in some songs :) Considering I'm a baby froshie I'm really happy! Also it's just a really fun show and everyone is super nice! Yeah, you know how I do! Everything is just crazy right now. There's virtually no consistency yet. And in some ways that's good. You know adventure and surprise. I got some really good news today. My history professor from last semester (she's amazing, I love her), nominated me for a scholarship living community thing for next year. I'm def applying, but I don't think I'll make it. The house is this beautiful stone mansion. It's a little far off campus, but totally worth it. On the downside, you know my awesome tight knit group of friends. Well now that we're comfortable with each other that means a ton of drama. I hate drama. And now I'm starting to thing we're less tight knit and more just a ragtag bunch of misfits. Like I don't know I'm kind of freaking out. They're keeping secrets from me, and just not always the most supportive. Like I do love them I really do. But maybe the problem is me? I do kind of distance myself. I've just been kind of moody recently, maybe it's the winter weather. I mean the fact that a certain person on campus I'd like to see is ignoring isn't really helping either...
Oh WELL! I'll just chalk it up to early semester transition back blues and buck up like I always do.
And I will actually try to blog more...
 

A Promise Kept

Yes, believe it or not I'm actually blogging! Last blog was at the two week point of college and now I'm past the two month point! I don't really know what I have to report. I go to my classes, I go to various activities. Some times I do go to parties... scandalous I know! But actually I am becoming a little scandalous at times. I still am desperately in need of a good adventure! Hopefully one will present itself soon...
Right now we're in the middle of Hurricane Sandy mode. We lost power yesterday and have been off from class Monday-Wednesday and probably beyond. Ughhhh it's quite inconvenient. I slept on Christina's floor last night and probs will tonight too. Yep that's how much I dislike my floor/ building. For the blog records I don't have a roomie (She moved out right before fall break, apparently because of my perfume). This leaves me with a "dingle" aka a double single for now. They could fill it somewhere down the road which is kind of scary. Yeah, I'm not really friends with most of the girls on my floor. The one girl I'm probably closest with spent last night in Watson, and I saw some other girls heading out of Mckeen too. That's right our building sucks so much that we can't bear to be trapped here during a hurricane. It's a rough life.
I love my friends here at school, they're so sweet and nice! I guess I'm still kind of homesick though. Everything is so different from how I expected it to be. I complained a lot about being "stuck" with the same people for all of middle school and high school. But there was a certain security that came with that, I don't think I appreciated it enough. And while it's great to be making new friends, I really miss my old ones :/ But I can't wait to be reunited at Thanksgiving!
My classes are still pretty good. The storm has moved my Geology exam from Monday to Friday...if we have class on Friday. I really need to do well on this one! My FYS theatre-y class is mehhhh. My professor is a little odd. She doesn't wear real shoes or a bra and she's not very good at explaining things. But at least we can all bond over how crazy she is. History is great. We just had our midterm on Friday, wasn't too bad. FAMS is ahhhmazing. We watch the best movies and I did really well on my midterm and it's so interesting and I love it. :)
Hmmmm... I don't really have any other "big" news. Laf is a very quintessential college... actually borderline cliche. But it's nice, very nice. I'll post pictures when I'm not in constant fear of my phone battery going! Stay safe if you're affected by the storm!

The things they don't tell you...

FIRST COLLEGIATE BLOG POST!!! Look at me college girl blogging. Now it's the same old boring blog but from a college student's perspective! Okay so I think I have a really apropos simile so in the spirit of being ridiculously poetic... Time is like honey. It's moving so fast, but so slow! I've only been here 2 weeks and 2 days but it oddly feels like 2 months while also feeling like I just got here. It's very odd. I'm still getting settled...ughhh. See you expect it to go like this... you get out of your mom's car. You immediately catch a frisbee tossed by some gorgeous golden haired boy. The kids who perfectly timed a frisbee toss so you'd accidentally catch it become your best friends. You have all the same interest and then everyone gathers round and sings and dances, cue credits. Well no, that's not how it works. Making friends is HARD. It's better now I've met some really nice people and I'm starting to find my niche, but there's no crazy random happenstance that will magically get you acclimated to college. Rome wasn't built in a day and apparently neither is my social life. But like I said I think I have a few keepers now. On the sunnier side of the quad (see what I did there!), my classes are ahmazing! My mandatory science class isn't awful. C'mon it's geology! Literally we went on a field trip to look at rocks for our first lab. We just hiked around saying, "That's a nice boulder!" And our professor just tells really corny geology jokes. Then my FYS or first year seminar is a theatre class. It's not too bad. I'm friends with a lot of people from that class. It's a more than decent amount of work outside of class but it's really not that bad. And it's a nice way to have opportunities to get involved in the college theatre seen. My history class is AWESOME. It was supposed to be 1450 to present but they revised it to 1750 to present. YEAH!!! And instead of a final I just have a paper. We have to pick a specific city and then focus a paper around that. I need to start thinking about that.  I'm in love with  my FAMS class is everything I dreamed it would be and more <3. We talk about music, and photography, and movies which is like my entire life pretty much. And we watch really good movies and I love it. YAY! And twice a week I have concert choir. The director is really nice and fun. I'm singing alto though... I haven't sung alto in about two years! I'm starting to get busier with clubs and stuff. I'm not exactly sure what clubs I'm in officially . The main ones I'm in right now I guess are Art Society, Theatre Underground, Marquis Players, Dance Co., photography club... you know weird artsy kid things. Then there's the little everyday things. Like feeling my legs are never completely shaved because I hate the college showers. Or not being able to do two loads of laundry since 2/5 washing machines have vomit covered sheets in them. Late night Wawa adventures... you know college things! Now that I'm spending less time being sad and more time being awesome instead hopefully I can blog more so I don't forget things. High School went by way too quickly so I don't want to forget to chronicle anything!

In front of Old Pardee

Pretty campus requirement...check! 

The college essentials. CARPE DIEM is my mantra for the year since that's what Papa Nat told me to do

It's a bumble bee!!!

My favorite thing is to go where I've never been

The title is my current mantra quote! It's from one of my favorite photographers Diane Arbus. For some reason it always makes me feel better when I'm starting something new. And I need all the inspiration I can get because tomorrow is my first day of college life! Currently my life is in boxes! I've been running around all day trying to say my good byes and box everything up. I actually have a ridiculous amount of stuff! I don't think I've ever felt this nervous or excited in my entire life. I guess I'm mostly nervous about making friends. I feel like such a kindergartner! Except worse because I'm actually living somewhere new! I was reading the syllabus for my FYS (which FYI is a First Year Seminar) which got me simultaneously pumped and intimidated. On the bright side it's a theatre class so it kinda forces my foot in the door. But there was all this talk of viewing classes, and production hours, and my professor expects us to read the Times daily! My roomie is already moved in for a preorientation program. So hopefully that will make move in easier... I don't really have much else to report. It's really late and I still need to shower so I can't really summer recap...
Oh wait I had a day that was too good not to blog about. I went into NYC got half price second row tickets for Peter and the Starcatcher, got my playbill signed by every cast member and a picture with Adam Chanler Berat (one of my broadway crushes), and free tickets to the MOMA. It was such a lucky good day! Also I'm 18 now! Woohoo adulthood! I had a nice day of hanging out with friends and family. Definitely one of my best birthdays ever!
There are so many things I meant to do this Summer but never got a chance to do. But everyone was always so busy and some things just never coordinated! Oh well I'm leaving tomorrow with no regrets ready for some brighter horizons.
Easton or Bust!

Oh but I need to blog more at school because how else will Sonya Han know what's going on in my life?!?! (Sonya Han always needs to know what's going on in my life)

me and CP at my birthday party that was much earlier than my birthday

12 for 12 :)

I'm gonna miss coffee runs with my New Prov friends

Train ride home from seeing Into the Woods. I'm going to miss this boy so much!

Me, Adam Chanler Berat (aka PETER PAN!), and Caitlin

Perfect for brewing my favorite Earl Grey 

Somethings can't be explained they can only be experienced

So much to summarize! I'm officially now a high school graduate! How crazy is that?!?! I walked to get my diploma with Dave Barletta the dream boat football star. (Now that we're no longer classmates I can say that right?) I looked very short next to him because he's 6'5'' and well I'm not... Then we were all whisked off to project graduation. A mythical land of air brush tattoos, massages, and sports that I'm not coordinated enough to play. Sunday after graduation, the fam came to celebrate. It was nice seeing everyone and a little congratulatory money is sitting waiting to go to the bank. Summer started off slow, but is starting to pick up. I'm working two jobs (Surprising since I'm usually so lazy). In the mornings I babysit and drive the girl to the pool. I really don't like waking up early, but she's a sweet little almost 5th grader and it's super easy money. And then I'm doing reception work at a pediatrician's office. I mostly just file charts alphabetically. It's painfully boring. But at least this job I can work hours during college breaks when I know I'll need money. Speaking of college! I can almost taste the instant ramen! I received my tentative schedule! Most importantly I got into FAMS 101. I literally cheered out loud when I saw that I'm starting my career as a young film maker! Then I have a history class. Geology 101 for my lab requirement. I hope that class isn't that bad. Also I have my first year seminar which is actually a theatre class. This one was my 3rd choice, but I'm sure it will be fine! Today I got my housing assignment. My dorm is close to the main quad and has air conditioning. And my roommate is also from New Jersey and seems fairly normal so far! Ahhhh August come faster! I've actually been doing a pretty good job of staying active this Summer! Lots of gym trips for the elliptical and I'm doing yoga twice a week with Caitlin. Tuesday started Summer dance classes. Ballet was really hard because the class was a lot more intense than what I was used to (there were jumps I had never heard of! Really a scion?). But, I pushed through and just didn't care if they judged me! I made up for my less than performance worthy ballet class by having a good jazz class. I <3 Jazz!

Well I solved my existential life crisis. I decided it's all in my head. Now, most people would view this as a bad thing but you've probably figured out, I'm not most people! So I'm no longer all caught up in "trying to find my place" and "discovering who I am". I'm a teenager the whole identity thing is still being formed. It's ridiculous to stress over something like that. Having deep philosophical debates with yourself doesn't make you deep it just gives you a headache! However, I do feel very distanced from my peers. I feel awkward and like I don't fit in. I feel like people don't really like me. Or at least they don't like me as much as others. Just that second rate inadequate feeling. Maybe it's just having been in New Prov for too long. Maybe it's knowing these people too well picking up on their subtleties and social cues. Maybe it's that they've known me too long. Having seen me in all my peaks and valleys having grown bored with me. It could be them; not being interesting or bright enough for me. Is it wrong to say that? There are just an abundance of uninspiring people I am forced to come in contact with. I know I'm not helping my case towards being a nice person. Or is it me? Am I the one who is just too strange? Is it that I am a fake, a psuedointellectual with unreasonable standards for the perfectly acceptable people around me? I don't know. It sucks feeling like a stranger surrounded by those you're supposed to call your posse, your clique, your best friends. I live in the moment and I think few do. I think many of us are just so ready to leave it is hard to continue hanging out with this collection of people who are not yet part of our past and certainly not a part of our futures. Again, too harsh?

banana s'more YUM

Hunter: my oldest, faithfulest, bestest friend

Lola all decked out for graduation

My cap! My favorite thing is to go where I've never been

Me and my gurlies post tubing

New obsession! Summer goal

I just really like this picture! okay?