A Special Kind Of People...

"Holey Shmokes!" direct quote from Mara when she looked at the last time I blogged... oops. Let's start with the awful things that have happened since then. I went home to see Beauty and the Beast more like went to see James as Lumiere. I was not passing up that opportunity. Anyway I went to see the show, hung out with Allie and Katie. That was the nice part. Then my mom sat me down and told me that Hunter, my puppy hadn't been doing that well. He was super old he would have been 15 in May which is super old for a dog his size. We had thirteen beautiful years together, me and my best friend. I remember my mom lied to me when I was five saying that we were moving to a new house to get a dog...I believed her. Though slightly deceptive this strategy made me more than okay about moving because it meant getting a puppy. And in 2000 we brought in the new millenium with a new family member. He was the best. On happier notes, I'm living in McKelvy next year. I was really surprised I got accepted. I'm not 100% sure how I feel about the whole thing, but the whole thing kind of fell in my lap and these things happen for a reason and I'm just going with the flow. Then came spring break. I jam packed my week with chilling and catching up with the new prov crowd. There was one day I watched 3 movies in a row. Standard.  I had to go back to school on Easter which was not the most convenient, but now it's nice getting back to campus. That Friday was the Dance Company Recital. We brought back the Radioactive number from last semester which was really nice because it was the only way I was able to be in the recital. Because I was only in the one number I helped stage manage the show. It was a really nice performance. And that launched us into Marquis Players Tech Week. I'm convinced we are the most codependent group on campus. That Sunday a bunch of us went to "Hugel land" where we crammed for the upcoming week or wrote parody songs for "Curtains". That week the weather was really nice. So I sat on the quad for four hours one day. So I got sun burn... oops. Tech week was crazy. We'd get to the theatre at like 5:00 then we got kicked off stage at 11:00 then we'd do notes in the lobby then we'd eat more and do work. The show generally went really well! "Curtains" is a really fun show to be a part of. I was really really sad when it was over. Saturday I had lots of family and friends at the show and they seemed to enjoy our little murder mystery. And the level of MP love was ridiculous!  It was probably one of my favorite weekends on campus <3 Things have been pretty slow now that I'm not as tied up with rehearsal. I'm having drama with a lot of my friends. It sucks but I feel kind of numb to it. It's not that I don't value these friendships I just don't have the energy to care about their petty opinions. And I just feel distant from everyone. It's all very existential. It's okay I think feeling lost at this point in my life is to be expected.  I can't believe how quickly Summer is approaching. I'm in the process of securing an internship. I just desperately do not want to return to my boring office job again. I'm going to miss Laf so much :/. I'm already registered for classes next semester. It seems like I have a challenging semester ahead of me, but not in a bad way. I could just use some change story of my life.
In other news, Thursday marked my two year blog-a-versary. Yay, blogging!

Kodak moments

Saturday was a notably fantastic day. Nothing ridiculously exciting happened, but it was just a really nice day that made me happy. I've been talking a lot about "the roller coster" all the ups and downs of the hectic time that is freshman year of college so it's important to mention a particularly satisfying day. I had to wake up a little to early, but no day is perfect. First thing on the schedule was a Literacy Day performance with Marquis Players. We sang some silly hip hop song and "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" from Lion King. It was goofy, but the children seemed to enjoy it and that's what was important. Then my friend Kathryn and I embarked on an adventure. I'm trying to incorporate the theme of adventuring into my life more. It's a difficult task when I'm landlocked to the campus, but I'm doing my best. I'm currently reading On the Road by Jack Kerouac. Slowly but surely I'll finish it! So far I really like it. I would have loved to be a part of the beat generation. I think I could have fit in. I think I want a big adventure like that... except less drugs. Anyway back to my story, I packed my knapsack and we journeyed out of the bubble (The bubble is slang term I coined to describe campus). We were searching for the Easton Cemetery so I could take pictures for my Digital Photography class. I mean I guess that is a little morbid for subject matter, but compared to Diane Arbus (my favorite photographer) or Weegee (who I'm just starting to learn about) I think I'm still in the realms of acceptable levels of morbidness. And besides I had heard that it was a beautiful cemetery. It certainly was an adventure... meaning we got really lost. No adventure's complete without getting lost! Okay, I'm just saying that to make myself feel better. Seriously, I have no clue how people navigated the world without google maps and smart phones. I find this both comforting and concerning.  I have no clue how far we walked, but eventually we found the gate. We sat on the ground as I pulled out the tripod and preset the aperture and shutter speed. It was my first time working with a tripod. Personally I find it constricting but to get the depth of field i wanted it was helpful. It was absolutely freezing. The cold air turned my hands completely white. Eventually I caved and put my gloves on. I love photography, I really do. Sometimes it's nice to just disappear behind the lens and not worry about anything other than taking a good picture. There were some very old graves. Some even dated back to the Civil War! Kathryn said the whole experience made her very introspective. In her words, "I felt like if I had to write a poem I could. I'm not going to but I definitely could." 159 pictures later we were ready to leave. I only needed 75 for class, but I'm happy because now I have more choices to edit from. It's one of the few things I actually like about digital photography. On my 35 mm I was lucky to take 40 pictures in one day. I miss the dark room, but digital provides new challenges for me as a photographer. I try to be deep and poetic and compare it to an athlete running different events. After the photo shoot, I treated Kathryn and myself to a delicious lunch at Quadrant. It was really nice that Kathryn helped me with my photo shoot it would have gotten very lonely if I spent the day on my own. We got there just in time to catch breakfast special so I got a broccoli, mushroom, and cheese omelette. It was absolutely amazing. I then took a glorious nap. It was well earned after all the walking! Then my friend Danny came over and after some "real talk" (slang for a serious convo about life) he made me clean my room. It was pretty bad... but it's better now! Then a typical, college-y, if not slightly boring night of hanging out with Andrew, Christina, and Ryan. It was just a day that made me happy and I think that's important to recognize! Maybe I'm steering back towards being an optimist...hopefully!

Someday I'll post pictures and words together

Dress as your favorite musical: I'm Wendla from spring awakening...Joe is Tinkerbell

Going home means selfies with my puppy!

SO. GOOD. 

This moment is actually happening

This moment is actually happening

Hi everyone. Things just keep getting crayer and crayyyer. On the 15th I voyaged and saw my bestie Caitlin in The Producers at Villanova. I love her and was very happy to be supporting her. They did a really great job :) Then I had a brief stay in the one and only new prov. Which mainly consisted of buying crap to bring back to school with me and of course enjoying the luxuries of a real shower. A night of shenanigans then ensued. The weekdays are pretty average. I go to classes, I go to MP rehearsals, I chill with my homies. Rinse and repeat. Then last weekend was well what last weekend was. Lots of ups and downs but what else is new? Then Sunday I actually had to wake up to go to NYC!!! I went to the ICP and then walked around taking pictures which was cool. And then I saw Once! I got Steve Kazee's understudy but he was still perfectly dreamy. I think I'm cursed I always get understudies for the actor I want to see most! It was nice to just to go on an adventure and try to let go of all the crap that happened the night before. And by the time I got back to campus it was time for the Oscars! Oh Hollywood please accept me as one of your own. Pretty nondescript week. A guest artist came to talk about her photography. Weird stuff, good but weird. Lots of nudes. I don't know if I could photographs nudes. I def wouldn't pose for them so I don't think it's right to ask someone else to... artist musings. On Saturday MP is performing for literacy day which will be fun. But it means a kinda weird rehearsal sched. But rehearsal was really good tonight. I think I made Rich proud! Rich is our director...I love him and crave his approval. Tomorrow math is cancelled :D YAY!
This is the part of the post where I complain about things that aren't going to matter so in the future when I read this I can laugh. (future Mara you are welcome! I hope you're still sane enough to appreciate this). So I'm debating my major right now. Like Obvs. the FAMS major is happening the cinema is my love. But I'm thinking of doubling in either Studio Art, American Studies, or English. All of those are pointless majors that won't get me jobs and that's okay! See this will be funny when I'm a "grown up". Also something to laugh about the asshole who was ignoring me when we left off in the last post... yep still ignoring me :(.
On a happier note, I think I'm going to be able to go home to see NPHS musical, beauty and the beast! And then the week after that it will be spring break! YAY!

Unfinished Business

I know considering the lack of blogging this is almost a miracle. If you take this as an indicator of my blogging pace for the rest of the semester you will be sorely disappointed. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. Just kidding...sort of.
Just people, man! I'm done with a lot of them. Yesterday I made a list of people I like and a "shit list" when I sat down to do my Statistics studying. Unfortunately the "shit list" is pretty full including names of some people I'm typically very close with. Then Anonymous friend came over and commented on the lists. Anonymous friend is a true leader, a keen listener, and generally more important to me than the bald eagle is to America. Seriously though I never tried to poison her with DDT... and she can talk.  Yeah, so that happened. It was a pretty good list there were foil characters and everything. Some of the parallels made more sense than others... then Anonymous friend wrote some snarky comments on someone who is both on "the shit list" and the people I like list. He really should not be on the people I like list...sigh...but he is. Seriously I need to move the hell on. By the way in case you were wondering the key to getting over a guy is not more guys. Yep, the vague overview is that we were a thing then we weren't then we were together again and now he's ignoring me. And I don't really know what I would want or even how I really feel about him I just hate being ignored and wish we could at least be friends. So... ummm Happy Valentine's Day everyone? Yeah because I need an annual reminder that my worth is determined by how men feel about me... many thanks to the Patriarchy. I also don't like this whole "having a crush thing" I never really dealt with it in high school. Oh, that asexual, incestual bubble that was NPHS. Yeah now I'm pathetically wishing some asshole would text me. Spoiler alert: It's not gonna happen. Ah, well it sucks now eventually I'll move on, my prince will come or something like this. And I do have a Valentine her name is Kathryn and I made her a card with glitter on it and everything. Sometimes good friends are more important any way. Yes, yes. Yeah, I actually don't have that much work this week. I mean I read for Lit, some basic sets for stats, photography is well photography, and American Studies could be anything. Still gives me plenty of time to screw up my personal life... MEOW. Okay seriously, I know I'm a strong independent woman and I don't need no man! Kay? Kay!

Paparazzi

I MISS THIS FACE

The Annual Santa Pic

Working hard or hardly working (on a play for theatre class)

CHRISTMAS and GINGERBREAD and LOVE

Best Christmas present ever? Pard Pride?

Spent NYE with those that matter most <3

My first day of classes look :)

The Roller Coaster

Hi! Remember me... my name is Mara I'm a spunky little 18 year old trying to hack it at one of America's best colleges while discovering her identity. No? Well, that's because again I have fallen behind on my blogging! Gosh, I'm going to have nothing to reference when I write my memoir?!
So quick overview recap! I officially survived first semester! Yes, barely. Yes, there were several breakdowns and I def didn't get straight A's and of course a few identity crisis (somethings never change). Overall a decent first semester though. I mean they say the transition is tough for everyone and I didn't drop out or transfer so I can't complain. And I met a lot of people who I simply adore now. Looking back at the last post I realized how little I actually talked about. I didn't say anything about Laf/Lehigh! We lost :( but it was still a good time! My parents came out from the game and that was well...interesting. At the end of the semester, Dance Co. had a So You Think You Can Dance. I performed a Modern group number... we came in 2nd place! The next day was our choir concert which went quite well and was a nice send off before crunch time. Ughhh finals trust me, we don't need to recap any of that.
Next order of business: Winter Break. You know I never really understood the phrase, "Home for the Holidays" until I left. At first it was wonderful to have so much time with my friends and family but after a month of pure slothfulness (okay, and working at WatPeds) I was more than ready to return to college hill. But CHRISTMAS! I love Christmas. I love Christmas so much <3 It was nice getting back to all of our family traditions. I got mega cool stuff too :) i got leopard footie pajamas (pard pride!!!), a few books, and THE BABY! The baby is what I call my DSLR camera. Also I babysat a lot over break so I got myself a ukulele. I can play a bunch of easy songs which is pretty awesome. I also watched a ridiculous amount of Mad Men...so good. And a bunch of really good movies! And I went to Rockin' Joe's because I'm constantly there or Cosmic Cup. Coffee shop probs <3
 SPEAKING OF COSMIC... flash forward to Easton, PA my little dorm room across the street from Cosmic because that's where I am (I know, classy transition!) This marks classes week 3 but it feels like much longer! (Sidebar: Yes, I cried when I said goodbye to my dog...again). Let's see classes are good...now. I had to do an add/drop. I was taking Making Media, but there was all this drama with the Professor's grading policies and it just wasn't worth it. But now I'm in Digital Photography which makes me very, very happy :D and perfect way to get better acquainted with my baby xoxo. In contrast I'm taking Stats which sucks but you know curriculum requirements, quantitative reasoning, blah, blah, blah. I'm taking American Literature. I really, really like it. My professor is fabulous! He's ridiculously smart and does everything with such style. I'm also taking Intro to American Studies. I don't really know what to make of it yet, but so far so good. Oh yeah and Concert Choir let's go round 2. Other exciting things? I'm in a show! I'm Johnny/Jenny (gender changing hell yeah) in Curtains! That means I'm the stage manager for the show within the show. I get a couple lines and even a bit in some songs :) Considering I'm a baby froshie I'm really happy! Also it's just a really fun show and everyone is super nice! Yeah, you know how I do! Everything is just crazy right now. There's virtually no consistency yet. And in some ways that's good. You know adventure and surprise. I got some really good news today. My history professor from last semester (she's amazing, I love her), nominated me for a scholarship living community thing for next year. I'm def applying, but I don't think I'll make it. The house is this beautiful stone mansion. It's a little far off campus, but totally worth it. On the downside, you know my awesome tight knit group of friends. Well now that we're comfortable with each other that means a ton of drama. I hate drama. And now I'm starting to thing we're less tight knit and more just a ragtag bunch of misfits. Like I don't know I'm kind of freaking out. They're keeping secrets from me, and just not always the most supportive. Like I do love them I really do. But maybe the problem is me? I do kind of distance myself. I've just been kind of moody recently, maybe it's the winter weather. I mean the fact that a certain person on campus I'd like to see is ignoring isn't really helping either...
Oh WELL! I'll just chalk it up to early semester transition back blues and buck up like I always do.
And I will actually try to blog more...
 

A Promise Kept

Yes, believe it or not I'm actually blogging! Last blog was at the two week point of college and now I'm past the two month point! I don't really know what I have to report. I go to my classes, I go to various activities. Some times I do go to parties... scandalous I know! But actually I am becoming a little scandalous at times. I still am desperately in need of a good adventure! Hopefully one will present itself soon...
Right now we're in the middle of Hurricane Sandy mode. We lost power yesterday and have been off from class Monday-Wednesday and probably beyond. Ughhhh it's quite inconvenient. I slept on Christina's floor last night and probs will tonight too. Yep that's how much I dislike my floor/ building. For the blog records I don't have a roomie (She moved out right before fall break, apparently because of my perfume). This leaves me with a "dingle" aka a double single for now. They could fill it somewhere down the road which is kind of scary. Yeah, I'm not really friends with most of the girls on my floor. The one girl I'm probably closest with spent last night in Watson, and I saw some other girls heading out of Mckeen too. That's right our building sucks so much that we can't bear to be trapped here during a hurricane. It's a rough life.
I love my friends here at school, they're so sweet and nice! I guess I'm still kind of homesick though. Everything is so different from how I expected it to be. I complained a lot about being "stuck" with the same people for all of middle school and high school. But there was a certain security that came with that, I don't think I appreciated it enough. And while it's great to be making new friends, I really miss my old ones :/ But I can't wait to be reunited at Thanksgiving!
My classes are still pretty good. The storm has moved my Geology exam from Monday to Friday...if we have class on Friday. I really need to do well on this one! My FYS theatre-y class is mehhhh. My professor is a little odd. She doesn't wear real shoes or a bra and she's not very good at explaining things. But at least we can all bond over how crazy she is. History is great. We just had our midterm on Friday, wasn't too bad. FAMS is ahhhmazing. We watch the best movies and I did really well on my midterm and it's so interesting and I love it. :)
Hmmmm... I don't really have any other "big" news. Laf is a very quintessential college... actually borderline cliche. But it's nice, very nice. I'll post pictures when I'm not in constant fear of my phone battery going! Stay safe if you're affected by the storm!

The things they don't tell you...

FIRST COLLEGIATE BLOG POST!!! Look at me college girl blogging. Now it's the same old boring blog but from a college student's perspective! Okay so I think I have a really apropos simile so in the spirit of being ridiculously poetic... Time is like honey. It's moving so fast, but so slow! I've only been here 2 weeks and 2 days but it oddly feels like 2 months while also feeling like I just got here. It's very odd. I'm still getting settled...ughhh. See you expect it to go like this... you get out of your mom's car. You immediately catch a frisbee tossed by some gorgeous golden haired boy. The kids who perfectly timed a frisbee toss so you'd accidentally catch it become your best friends. You have all the same interest and then everyone gathers round and sings and dances, cue credits. Well no, that's not how it works. Making friends is HARD. It's better now I've met some really nice people and I'm starting to find my niche, but there's no crazy random happenstance that will magically get you acclimated to college. Rome wasn't built in a day and apparently neither is my social life. But like I said I think I have a few keepers now. On the sunnier side of the quad (see what I did there!), my classes are ahmazing! My mandatory science class isn't awful. C'mon it's geology! Literally we went on a field trip to look at rocks for our first lab. We just hiked around saying, "That's a nice boulder!" And our professor just tells really corny geology jokes. Then my FYS or first year seminar is a theatre class. It's not too bad. I'm friends with a lot of people from that class. It's a more than decent amount of work outside of class but it's really not that bad. And it's a nice way to have opportunities to get involved in the college theatre seen. My history class is AWESOME. It was supposed to be 1450 to present but they revised it to 1750 to present. YEAH!!! And instead of a final I just have a paper. We have to pick a specific city and then focus a paper around that. I need to start thinking about that.  I'm in love with  my FAMS class is everything I dreamed it would be and more <3. We talk about music, and photography, and movies which is like my entire life pretty much. And we watch really good movies and I love it. YAY! And twice a week I have concert choir. The director is really nice and fun. I'm singing alto though... I haven't sung alto in about two years! I'm starting to get busier with clubs and stuff. I'm not exactly sure what clubs I'm in officially . The main ones I'm in right now I guess are Art Society, Theatre Underground, Marquis Players, Dance Co., photography club... you know weird artsy kid things. Then there's the little everyday things. Like feeling my legs are never completely shaved because I hate the college showers. Or not being able to do two loads of laundry since 2/5 washing machines have vomit covered sheets in them. Late night Wawa adventures... you know college things! Now that I'm spending less time being sad and more time being awesome instead hopefully I can blog more so I don't forget things. High School went by way too quickly so I don't want to forget to chronicle anything!

In front of Old Pardee

Pretty campus requirement...check! 

The college essentials. CARPE DIEM is my mantra for the year since that's what Papa Nat told me to do

It's a bumble bee!!!

My favorite thing is to go where I've never been

The title is my current mantra quote! It's from one of my favorite photographers Diane Arbus. For some reason it always makes me feel better when I'm starting something new. And I need all the inspiration I can get because tomorrow is my first day of college life! Currently my life is in boxes! I've been running around all day trying to say my good byes and box everything up. I actually have a ridiculous amount of stuff! I don't think I've ever felt this nervous or excited in my entire life. I guess I'm mostly nervous about making friends. I feel like such a kindergartner! Except worse because I'm actually living somewhere new! I was reading the syllabus for my FYS (which FYI is a First Year Seminar) which got me simultaneously pumped and intimidated. On the bright side it's a theatre class so it kinda forces my foot in the door. But there was all this talk of viewing classes, and production hours, and my professor expects us to read the Times daily! My roomie is already moved in for a preorientation program. So hopefully that will make move in easier... I don't really have much else to report. It's really late and I still need to shower so I can't really summer recap...
Oh wait I had a day that was too good not to blog about. I went into NYC got half price second row tickets for Peter and the Starcatcher, got my playbill signed by every cast member and a picture with Adam Chanler Berat (one of my broadway crushes), and free tickets to the MOMA. It was such a lucky good day! Also I'm 18 now! Woohoo adulthood! I had a nice day of hanging out with friends and family. Definitely one of my best birthdays ever!
There are so many things I meant to do this Summer but never got a chance to do. But everyone was always so busy and some things just never coordinated! Oh well I'm leaving tomorrow with no regrets ready for some brighter horizons.
Easton or Bust!

Oh but I need to blog more at school because how else will Sonya Han know what's going on in my life?!?! (Sonya Han always needs to know what's going on in my life)

me and CP at my birthday party that was much earlier than my birthday

12 for 12 :)

I'm gonna miss coffee runs with my New Prov friends

Train ride home from seeing Into the Woods. I'm going to miss this boy so much!

Me, Adam Chanler Berat (aka PETER PAN!), and Caitlin

Perfect for brewing my favorite Earl Grey 

Somethings can't be explained they can only be experienced

So much to summarize! I'm officially now a high school graduate! How crazy is that?!?! I walked to get my diploma with Dave Barletta the dream boat football star. (Now that we're no longer classmates I can say that right?) I looked very short next to him because he's 6'5'' and well I'm not... Then we were all whisked off to project graduation. A mythical land of air brush tattoos, massages, and sports that I'm not coordinated enough to play. Sunday after graduation, the fam came to celebrate. It was nice seeing everyone and a little congratulatory money is sitting waiting to go to the bank. Summer started off slow, but is starting to pick up. I'm working two jobs (Surprising since I'm usually so lazy). In the mornings I babysit and drive the girl to the pool. I really don't like waking up early, but she's a sweet little almost 5th grader and it's super easy money. And then I'm doing reception work at a pediatrician's office. I mostly just file charts alphabetically. It's painfully boring. But at least this job I can work hours during college breaks when I know I'll need money. Speaking of college! I can almost taste the instant ramen! I received my tentative schedule! Most importantly I got into FAMS 101. I literally cheered out loud when I saw that I'm starting my career as a young film maker! Then I have a history class. Geology 101 for my lab requirement. I hope that class isn't that bad. Also I have my first year seminar which is actually a theatre class. This one was my 3rd choice, but I'm sure it will be fine! Today I got my housing assignment. My dorm is close to the main quad and has air conditioning. And my roommate is also from New Jersey and seems fairly normal so far! Ahhhh August come faster! I've actually been doing a pretty good job of staying active this Summer! Lots of gym trips for the elliptical and I'm doing yoga twice a week with Caitlin. Tuesday started Summer dance classes. Ballet was really hard because the class was a lot more intense than what I was used to (there were jumps I had never heard of! Really a scion?). But, I pushed through and just didn't care if they judged me! I made up for my less than performance worthy ballet class by having a good jazz class. I <3 Jazz!

Well I solved my existential life crisis. I decided it's all in my head. Now, most people would view this as a bad thing but you've probably figured out, I'm not most people! So I'm no longer all caught up in "trying to find my place" and "discovering who I am". I'm a teenager the whole identity thing is still being formed. It's ridiculous to stress over something like that. Having deep philosophical debates with yourself doesn't make you deep it just gives you a headache! However, I do feel very distanced from my peers. I feel awkward and like I don't fit in. I feel like people don't really like me. Or at least they don't like me as much as others. Just that second rate inadequate feeling. Maybe it's just having been in New Prov for too long. Maybe it's knowing these people too well picking up on their subtleties and social cues. Maybe it's that they've known me too long. Having seen me in all my peaks and valleys having grown bored with me. It could be them; not being interesting or bright enough for me. Is it wrong to say that? There are just an abundance of uninspiring people I am forced to come in contact with. I know I'm not helping my case towards being a nice person. Or is it me? Am I the one who is just too strange? Is it that I am a fake, a psuedointellectual with unreasonable standards for the perfectly acceptable people around me? I don't know. It sucks feeling like a stranger surrounded by those you're supposed to call your posse, your clique, your best friends. I live in the moment and I think few do. I think many of us are just so ready to leave it is hard to continue hanging out with this collection of people who are not yet part of our past and certainly not a part of our futures. Again, too harsh?

banana s'more YUM

Hunter: my oldest, faithfulest, bestest friend

Lola all decked out for graduation

My cap! My favorite thing is to go where I've never been

Me and my gurlies post tubing

New obsession! Summer goal

I just really like this picture! okay?

A little fall of rain...

CRAAAZY TIMES! I have a week and a half left of High School left? When did that happen? Since when have I been considered fit to graduate? I've had my last voice recital, my last choir concert, my last memorial day parade (maybe I'm actually done with guard now), first and last dance recital. Special senior things like awards nights and PROM! Prom was lovely by the way. James was such a dream date. We had an amazing time together; I love him so much! My feet killed from my heels but hey I did what I had to do! The next day I had my dance recital (my first since I was 5!) I was really proud of myself for finally taking a chance and signing up for classes. It was something I wanted to do for a long time and it felt good to finally live the dream. And c'mon I got to wear legwarmers and that's what counts. Then there was a ton of post prom drama... I felt absolutely miserable. What's supposed to be one of the happiest times in my life I spent crying...typical me. ...So I'm kind of in a 30 Rock obsession phase. I found it on netflix and I just watch episode after episode. Yes, I have a problem. Wednesday I went to the ballet in the city with James. We saw Midsummer's nights dream. It was magical. I thought I'd have more to post but everything's been such a blur. Things  really have gone by way too fast. Today I went shopping with my mom but now we've already started buying stuff for college. Am I actually ready to move out of New Providence? Only time will tell.

Shashin!!!

I'm bored so randommm picture time!

Musings from purgatory

...okay so I'm not really in purgatory just math class! Math class is pretty similar though. I'm almost one month away from graduation which is ridiculous! I had two voice recitals last week they went well. I'm done with my AP tests which means I'm chilling heavy. This weekend is relay for life and it'll be fun spending extra time with all my buddies while fighting cancer! Dance recital and prom and into the woods are around the corner oh those children will be the death of me it's a good thing they're cute! Also over the summer James and I are going to see into the woods with Amy Adams as the baker's wife I'm super excited!!! James and I are singing a song from sweet charity too but my book is missing. In fact a lot of my stuff is missing hopefully I find that stuff soon! Bahhhhhhh I'm such a dreamer I'm just so ready to leave and start an adventure! I've been here and with these people for way too long and I just need to get out and follow my dreams! Don't get me wrong there's a lot I'll miss about good old new prov (nice place nice people new providence) but I need a change of pace. Right now I'm listening to Of Monsters and Men I love them! Well this killed most of math class and now I have physiology...

She lives her life like a movie

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED! The biggest news of course is that I got into the college of my dreams! (Literally since I had two dreams about Lafayette!) That's right I'm going to be a Leopard :). So it turns out everything worked out after all! I got into a top-notch school with a name my dad can be proud of. I am so excited for my college future of making friends, watching and creating beautiful films, and potentially an a capella choir! I also flew halfway around the world and back! Despite two 14ish hour plane rides the Japan trip was by far one of the best experiences of my life! It's such a beautiful place; there's mountains, cherry blossoms, and shinto gates everywhere! The people are incredibly friendly despite the fact that I butcher their language at every opportunity. We started the trip in Tokyo. Tokyo was nice. Personally, I wasn't crazy about the big city it was a little too busy for me. Kyoto was much more my style very traditional and pretty. We went out to a shrine in kamekura (hopefully spelled that right) where we climbed up to this shrine on a hill and we could see the Pacific Ocean. It was incredibly beautiful. Also we visited Ueno park which is gorgeous this time of year with all the cherry blossoms in bloom. The trip out to Hiroshima was very moving. I cried in the museum, so sad. Then we ventured to our host stay in Fukui. My host student was once again polite but generally quite. His sister though was a total sweetheart! She drove us around and really took care of us. And our host mom made me feel like Courtney and I were the most exciting thing to happen to their house. She fed us so well! Our last day in Japan was spent in Kyoto again. We went on this amazing night hike, so cool! The food there was amazing. I won't be able to eat sushi here for a long time! Also there was ice cream everywhere! I grew quite fond of the black sesame or goma ice cream. In Kyoto Mitchell sensei took all the seniors out for yaki niku. We paid a flat fee and then ate as much meat as we could in 90 minutes. So delicious, but also kind of gross... I really enjoyed bonding with Mr. Mitchell on the trip. He put in a lot of effort to make the trip the best it could be for us. Good ol' Lighting Mike. But by the end of the trip I was pretty ready to return to normalcy. My sleep schedule is still a mess since I got into this vicious nap cycle. Not all is perfect though (C'mon this IS my life). One of my closest friendships is pretty much a mess. Now it wasn't my fault, but it still hurts. We're not even talking right now. I don't know if that's good or not..It still hurts to think about the way things were so I know I need some time to heal. But on the other hand I miss him dearly and would love even just a text message. I was quite a mess after the big fall out. Sonya had to push me around Target in a shopping cart to try to make me feel better. It just hurts that after all this time it doesn't matter that I know his favorite color, or what shows he likes, or how he likes his fucking bagels. He made his choices... wow, things just got intense... moving on. My senioritis is in full swing! (Pretty obvious considering I'm blogging right now...) I am so behind on smart fm! Half my classes are a joke. I have to do a "legacy" project for humanities and I'm still figuring that out. I nap sooo much. All I want is to watch good movies and tv. Well 2 months to graduation!!! ahhhhh almost out! Senioritis is a serious issue, don't let it get to you!

Making Sonya Proud

Looking sexy in that Victorian era way

nothing says hipster like bonnets, instagram, and highwaisted shorts

selfies it's what we do

who's that wannabe Asian in the background

He was just too cool for me :(

TOTEMO OISHII!

Damn it we're cute!

Look Sonya I posted Pictures!!! Any way! I've been absolutely crazy which is how I always am so it's really not that crazy. Since the last time I posted I've ended my high school musical career, got into colleges, hosted foreigners and continued every day events. My last musical was bittersweet. Let's just say my time with the music/theatre dept. hasn't exactly been a dream come true. But our show this year was a lot of fun and I'm already missing some of my cast mates. Saturday I came home from the cast party to find my mom had opened another of my college letters. Woohoo! It was my acceptance to Gettysburg. That Monday I wore a GBurg tshirt like a total tool, but I didn't care. I also got accepted to Susquehanna, and Union (my safeties), Skidmore, and Franklin and Marshall. F&M is probs my 2nd choice school. I got waitlisted for a bunch of schools, rejected from one, and have the last and most important one in the mail. I'm really, really nervous and just want this whole thing to be over! Also that Saturday I was kind of asked to Prom. True, it was by my gay best friend, but at least I'm not going alone! I told my mom that James and I were going as friends and she just said "Is there another way to go to prom with James?" I love him he's so funny! For the records, he's going to be amazingly famous and successful one day I'm calling it. Yes, but Sunday after the show I met my exchange students Fumiya and Kuzen. Sonya and I spent most of the exchange worrying that our students didn't like us! This year, I tried really hard to practice and be legit with my Japanese speaking. However, my students weren't very talkative. It was really awkward cause they would both sit in the backseat of my car. Chauffeur style! But then they left me a thank you note on my dresser and I was really happy. Also Kuzen facebook messaged me so I knew he cared in the end! Thursday they left. That night my dance teacher wasn't there so the studio owner taught our class. She can be kind of intimidating. She made us do a ton of reps and really focused on our technique. Gosh, I need my double pirouette! Then I went home showered and got ready for Hunger Games with Sonya! We really enjoyed the movie but mocked it too. Me:Why don't they have two crowns? Sonya: Budget cuts. Allusions to the Lion King were also made. Friday I had off from school. I did breakfast and started photoshooting with Nicole. I had to go to school and finish my portfolio. I went on a picnic to enjoy the lovely weather. Had a voice lesson. Took some more pictures. Saw Footloose at GL. Saturday was guard, more pictures, and babysitting. Sunday was more pictures (surprised?), and random duties. I really hope these negatives come out nicely. My teacher totally tore apart my last roll. She told me they were boring and anyone could have taken them. At least she's honest. Well here's to hoping...

How?

How does this keep happening?!?! I try so hard to blog consistently! It's quite difficult considering I'm practically never home! Life is really up and down right now. For a while I was having a really rough go at things, but things are coming together now. I think I'm having an identity crisis or something I just feel kind of isolated and weird. I don't know maybe it's just being so excited to leave New Prov. I think being so close to leaving makes all the seniors go crazy. People openly don't like each other now and are starting to distance themselves. I even feel more critical. On the plus side the weather is starting to warm up! I spent a lot of time outside today and it was absolutely gorgeous! I took a roll of film in the Watchung Reservation. I took a lot of pictures of this water tower with a ton of graffiti on it. Someone wrote "swag you would kill for." New Mantra?  I'm making a portfolio as a last ditch effort to get into college. One of my photographs qualified as a finalist for a competition. I looked at some of the competing prints, they were all so beautiful it was hard to believe my print was included with them. Also most of them were digital and color. I would die to have a DSLR camera, but since they cost an arm and a leg I'll just keep drooling. This week is production week for the musical! Which means it's almost over! But seriously I don't think the show's gonna be that bad this year. Then right after the musical I'm picking up my Japanese boys! I think hosting will be fun this year since I can drive them around! Hopefully after that things will be a little calmer. But then it'll be time to get ready for my Japan trip!!! Mama Nat ordered my ticket yesterday! We're going to Tokyo, Kyoto, and Fukui! I'm ridiculously excited. I bought a purse with Sonya to lug all my stuff around in. Right now I'm procrastinating a Euro project but I should probs get on that ughhhhhhhhhh! Time to draw pictures of Napoleon...yay...

way too long!

It's been way to long since I've blogged! I'm not even sure what to post about! So much has happened! The birthdays of the two biggest fans of life and times! (Sonya and Nicole: I'll hit you up when I'm legal ;)) I got accepted to a college including their honors program and a scholarship (but it's my safety school so I hopefully won't even have to consider going), got deferred from another school. Took midterms and officially became a second semester senior. Ahhh it feels good to blog! I've barely been home which means I barely have time to sleep let alone document my busy life. In Psychology we're learning about motivation and desires so I'm going to make a list of things I want right now.
1) To get into my top choice school (I'm being weird and superstitious, but I feel like if I post the name I'll jinx myself!). I changed my app to Early Decision which increases my chances and means I find out at the end of the month. I'm ridiculously nervous especially since I got deferred from one of my other schools. Which by the way sent me into a self pitying low self-esteem mode. Which is stupid and I hated feeling that terrible and I complained to some supportive friends perhaps a tad too much. Any way I had two separate dreams that I got into the school so hopefully this will be a dream come true. I'm taking it as a good omen! If I get in I'm buying so much school spirit crap for me and everyone I know!
2) A love letter! I was on StumbleUpon a very amusing website that totally enables procrastination. And found this website about a girl who wrote 300 love letters. They were to friends, strangers, everyone, no one, and yes boyfriends. Also I've been watching more than my normal amount of RomComs which appeals to my sentimental side. And Valentine's Day spirit is in the air. Oh well! This one is out of my hands!
3) A ukulele! I really want one to play cool songs on. I just think I should have a portable instrument I can jam with. And ukuleles are perfect for cute, quirky girls who like singing! So I'll probs order one online with my babysitting money soon. Finding the right one is tricky though!
4) New TOMS! The pair I have are actually falling apart! I was looking at 3 pairs earlier today, but it's a big decision!I wear my current pair practically every day.
5) My cartilage pierced. I promised myself I'd get on that after I applied to colleges which I finished!!! However, now I'm considering just waiting until after musical cause I might have to take it out for the show and I would NOT want it to close up.
6) More time! I'm ridiculously busy right now! I've been putting things off so much. Doctor's appointments, getting my hair cut, shopping, cleaning my room (even with all the time in the world that'd be a struggle for me though!)
7)Springtime! I want it to be warm enough to wear my pink flowery dress again! I don't do this whole winter thing well!
8) Strike that I want to leave this state! Which comes at end of Summer. Scary but exciting! Don't get me wrong I love you garden state and I do love my life in New Prov, but it's been far too long and I need the change and the excitement of a place where no one knows my middle name! I need a fresh start too.
wow what an insightful look into my psyche that's pretty scary. Well, recently I've been very blaze about how people feel about me. If people want to judge me they can. Yes but all is well on the home front and maybe I'll try to stay more consistent with my blogging... yeah about that! 

MUN-days

Bright and early for Friday I left for the 2012 Model United Nations conference. I lugged all my stuff to the school and prepared myself for the long and cold bus ride. My stuff included my huge photography book, and my fuji camera. (What? Can't miss a day!). I found my friend Josh who was in my committee last year and this year so we caught up. As per usual New Prov delegation arrived late and missed the brunch. (Good scheduling Mitchell sensei). So before heading to committee I stopped at the Hershey Lodge coffee shop, the Cocoa Beanery, for a chocolate chai and a chocolate croissant. YUM! Everything from that cafe is amazing. From there on out my weekend was eat, sleep, committee. My committee was Envirotech for the 3rd year. Envirotech is like the best committee ever <3. We debate cool topics and have tons of fun. And this year my country was Norway. Norway had really good views for the topics and it's always amazing to have a 1st world country! There were a bunch of people who came back from last year. It was great to work with them again. On the 1st resolution we debated I passed an amendment! 3/4 authors deemed the amendment friendly so we still had to enter unfriendly amendment debate. The dissenting author was really kind of annoying so I'm happy my amendment passed. :D. Over the weekend I passed 2 other resolutions. Mr. Mitchell and Mr. Meyers are so chill as advisers though. Friday night Abs and I went to the St. Joe's hallway so my buddy Josh (his country was Myanmar hahaha) could drop off his stuff. While walking down the hallway we had several questionable comments made as us. We were referred to as "babes" and to phrase it delicately Josh was sent some encouraging words. Pretty objectifying, but also kind of flattering. Then in the hallway we ran into one of Abby's friends from committee so we went to the lobby with some nice looking catholic school boys. Oh, also while on that floor we smelled a ton of pot! Who says MUN is for geeks? Besides committee the most exciting part of Saturday is the dance/activity time. The dance is pretty sketchy. Lots of dirty dancing and hook ups with strangers. Well, none of that for me. Though I was sort of asked to the dance... Well a boy from my committee asked me if I'd be going to the dance. He also sent me a character development award in committee. Their like little compliment sheets. Haha but he didn't even say hi to me at the dance, so who knows what went down. After dance time once again Abby, Josh, and I ended up in the St. Joe's hallway. We found some of the guys we were talking to Friday. I kind of flirted with one of them... hey c'mon don't judge! He was cute and I knew nothing would come of it. Last day is always really fun. We just kind of joke around and pass fake resolutions. And we all get really sad when we say good bye. It's really weird that I won't be going back next year. I'm sad it's over but my last year was fantastic. I'm pretty sure everyone in my committee liked me, all my outfits were adorable, and I was really successful. At least it was an amazing last year.

T'was the season for not blogging tralalala

Haven't blogged in so long! haven't even blogged about Christmas. Christmas shopping and wrapping was so stressful this year! Kicking off the holiday season was an ugly sweater party. I wore one of Nicole's mom's sweater. I looked pretty awesome :P. Once again, I ended up with Nicole and Sonya taking Christmas pictures on people's lawn, but this time Abs was there too. Christmas was awesome! I got an instaprint Fuji camera and Hunter rainboots! I spent Christmas chilling, watching movies, and just enjoying the day. Also at secret Santa I got sweet oxford boots from Sonya. I gave Emma a photography print and some jewelry, I think she really liked it.My buddy Rob also gave me a photography book. I kinda, really love it. Saturday was a trip to the city to see the tree. Nicole really wanted to go! We got lunch at this delicious Korean place. I got some amazing soup! The group was Sonya, Nicole, me, Thomas and Gabe. Good talk :). Then it was time for New Year's Eve at my house. It was incredibly stressful! Some of my friends were being very obnoxious though! At least I had a cute new outfit. I started my one instaprint pic for a year. It's very challenging! We started Pirates of Penzance practices. At the read through I discovered I only have a couple of spoken lines. Which is pretty upsetting I feel pretty sad about it. So current obsession...SCRUBS! I found that it's instantly streamed on netflix. I've been watching so many episodes. It's actually hysterical! But it does prevent me from being totally productive! Tomorrow I leave for MUN! Still need to finish packing...oops. Ughhh I'm so bad at packing!